


Learning Curves

by QuixoticAxiom



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Slow Build, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, jarvis is a snarky bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuixoticAxiom/pseuds/QuixoticAxiom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tony’s brain completely skipped the exit where he regretted what he had said, and got thoroughly lost in an intersection of nostalgia for worshiping the high school quarterback and trying not to smile himself. He remembered reading somewhere that even if you knew someone was conditioning you via positive reinforcement you couldn't stop it from working."</p><p>Tony is tasked with bringing Captain America up to speed on the 21st Century.  At first it seems a simple task but then Steve kisses Tony and runs. After that things get a lot more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

             

People in the twenty first century were either bitter or busy, often both.  After the battle when he walked in to S.H.E.I.L.D. Head Quarters everyone stood and applauded as he passed.  Those in reach had patted him on the back and it had almost felt like a homecoming.

Fury told him they would let him know when he was needed and until then he was welcome to train with the agents on base.  Steve had quickly figured out that no one had time to talk to him or answer any of the dozen questions he had about the future. People looked at him funny when he called it that.  He had to remind himself repeatedly that to everyone else this wasn’t the future but the present.  Every agent, however, seemed to have time to come down to the gym and try to hold their own against him hand to hand in the ring.  Many were good natured; asking him for advice and not hitting hard enough to hurt.  Other times men came in with something to prove; often taunting words came with them.  They would say things like Iron Man had been the real hero of New York, not him… any man with a bit of muscle in a costume could have done what he did.  They hit harder, with a sneer on their faces and a crowd would gather to see if the local hot shot could take down the living legend.  Bullies hadn’t changes much in a century.  They found themselves with their backs on the mat quickly, more so if they tried to get back up.

At night he would sit in the ten by ten bedroom he had been given and their words would spin around his head and echo off the walls while he tried to not fall asleep.  When he eventually did he would wake up sure he was falling through the air, sweating and uncontrollably shivering at the same time.  Sometimes he woke up screaming, but no one ever came to see if he was alright.

\--

 He had just finished a match when Natasha sat down next to him.  She was out of uniform but even in sweatpants and a T-shirt every eye in the room seemed to be on her.

 “Cap.”

 “Agent Romanov.  What brings you to head quarters?”

She rolled her eyes. “Barton killed someone on our most recent recon mission so I get to fill out paperwork about it.” She said. 

“I thought he had clearance to fire at will?” Steve asked.  Natasha smirked and snorted a little bit.

“He does, but this time he ran over the target with an SUV screaming ‘DIE FUCKERS DIE’ at the top of his lungs… in the middle of the town square.  It made the city’s local news.  Thus paperwork... also a psych eval. ” She must have seen the look of mild horror on Steve’s face because she quickly said “Don’t worry.  They deserved it.”  If anything that made him feel more concerned.

“So,” Steve said gesturing to the agents in the room, “Want to give them a show?”

“I donno Cap.” Natasha said.  She was smiling and already lacing up her shoes.  “You really going to hit a girl?” Steve stammered a little bit and Natasha laughed. They headed to the center mat.  Out of the corner of his eye Steve could see bets being placed and money exchanging hands.  He did not appear to be the crowd favorite to win.

He beat Natasha three to two.  After that fewer men showed up trying to prove something and he was bored enough that he almost missed them.

\--

“Jarvis! Where is Dummy?  I asked him to bring me more coffee ages ago.” Tony could in fact see exactly where dummy was The little robot was scooting form place to place picking new surfaces in the hopelessly messy workshop to traumatize with a feather duster.  Even though the action was fundamentally adorable it did not involve him getting more coffee and therefore was not appropriate.

“You have exceeded you limit of seven cups for the day Master Stark, I overrode you request as per prior instructions.” Jarvis said. Tony groaned and pressed his forehead against the workbench.

“I thought we talked about how you weren't to implement changes I made while drunk until you confirmed with me while I was sober first.” He complained without bothering to lift his head from the desk.   He swore he could hear Jarvis roll his eyes before he answered.

“Actually sir, when you issued this command eighteen days ago it was the most sober you had been in several weeks; with a blood alcohol level of less than  .01.” Jarvis said.  Tony thumped his head against the table again.  He needed coffee. Now.

“Just override it bud.  I don’t give a fuck about what I thought was a good Idea last week.”   Dummy had just begun to roll towards the coffee maker when tony heard footsteps from the stairwell.

“Don’t override it Jarvis.” Pepper called out as she tried to pick her way through the mess of open boxes and uncoiled extension cords.  Dummy stopped moving towards the coffee pot and again picked up the duster. 

“Of course Ms. Potts.” 

“Thank you Jarvis.”  Pepper smiled at the ceiling.  Tony smashed his head against the table again and flicked off the nearest of Jarvis’s optical sensors.

“Come on Pepp.” He said giving her his best puppy eyes with his cheek still pressed against the table.  No Effect.  Maybe He’d been using the puppy eye too much lately. “I’m in the middle of almost having a breakthrough here.  I need to be able to think.” He begged.  Pepper looked skeptically at his work surface and the jumble of sensors that surrounded a small chunk of grimy metal.  Tony tweaked a random knob on the largest machine and gestured to the changing graph that was projected in the center of the fortress of tool boxes that he had made.  Pepper again looked at the tangle of wires and then back to him.

“That hardly looks like a breakthrough Tony.” She said. “More like a plate of spaghetti.”  Tony threw up his hands in exasperation.  Pepper was right of course.  He was at least several weeks away from isolating the Chitauri control frequency… mostly because it didn’t conform to the human definition of frequency… as in waves. Yeah, it might take him more than several weeks. At this point however he was perfectly happy to be overly optimistic about his prospects if it got him more coffee.

He stood up and began to walk over to the coffee pot himself mumbling unintelligible things under his breath but he didn’t get two steps before Pepper slid in front of him.  When she wore heels she towered over him.  Usually he found that incredibly attractive but at times like these he hated it a little bit.  He tried the puppy face again and only got an eye roll for his efforts.

“No.” She said simply. “I have some papers I need you to sign before you ‘forget’ about the board meeting this afternoon.” She grabbed his hand and held it up between them.  He tried to hold it still but his fingers gave involuntary squirms and twitches. “You can’t sign things if your hand has shaken off you wrist.”

“Just one more cup?” he asked. “I could be one espresso from a breakthrough.  Your tyrannical rule of the coffee pot and treacherous seduction of my A.I. could be depriving the word of my ultimate contribution to science.” He said again gesturing to the chart.  Pepper gave another pointed look to the tangle of wires before she dropped a substantial pile of papers of the nearest clear surface.  Tony let out a huff and began to sign.

\--

“So…” Pepper said as he trudged his way through endless lines requiring his initials. “I had a meeting with Fury this morning.”

“Hmmm.” Tony said not concerned.  After the events in New York meetings with Fury had become common place.

“He mentioned Steve needing a place to stay, so I volunteered the tower.” Tony’s head snapped up.

“What!?” he asked. “Why can’t he just stay at Shield?”

“Because he doesn’t know anyone there Tony.  He has nothing to do but beat punching bags to a pulp all day.”

“But Pepp…”

“We agreed it would be a good thing Tony.  You can bring Steve up to speed on the modern world and you might not forget to eat for days at a time while I’m away on business.” Pepper said in her CEO voice.  Tony didn’t like that voice.  It meant resistance was futile.

“Fine.” He said. “But I get another cup of coffee for you completely derailing my day.”

“One cup,” Pepper said holding up a finger. “After you finish signing your papers.”

“Sir, Captain Rogers had just arrived in the first floor lobby and is proceeding to the elevator.”  Tony set down his tablet and rubbed his eyes.   He had literally every piece of data possible on the Chitauri communicator but he had yet to make any sense of it. 

“Send him up Jarvis.” Tony said.  He sprung off the couch and then changed his mind and sat back down.  He eyed the elevator as the door panel counted up the floors.  Captain America had been his childhood hero, and he would have been lying if he said the man’s words on the helicarrier had stopped stinging every time he thought of them.  He was a petty person there was no sense in denying it. He planned on being a jerk even though he knew Pepper would slap him in to next week if she knew anything of it. 

The door pinged and slid open and Steve Rogers cautiously stepped out.  The sarcastic words Tony had planned died on his lips.  Steve only had a duffel bag and the shield which was treaded through its strap.  As he stepped out of the elevator he seemed small, he looked scared.  His fingers brushed the edge of his shield as he looked around taking in the floor to ceiling glass windows, all of which had various data and information projected on to them in real time.  None of this was what stopped Tony from saying something.  What stopped him were the bags he noticed under Steve’s eyes and the way he pinched his lips together between his teeth as he actively held his chin high. He’d seen that look too many times in the mirror after he had returned from Afghanistan.  When he had spent days working up to touching the arc reactor and months trying to get used to the literal hole in his chest.   He remembered how he had felt back then, like someone trying to fix porcelain with scotch tape while the whole world shrieked at him for breaking it in the first place.  He knew that even a touch of hostility now would be cruelty.  He waved his hands and all of the data on the windows cleared.

“Hey, Cap.  How ya doing?” he asked standing up from the couch.  “Oh, and welcome to avengers tower and stuff.”

“I’m doing well.” Steve said, but the smile he gave was weak.  “Yourself?” He wandered to the window and looked down on to the street that was a half mile below. His fingers brushed the glass.  He flinched a little when it lit up.

“I’m doing alright.” Tony said.  “Having a little argument with science and a bigger argument with my robots over my coffee intake, but these things tend to work themselves out.”  He walked toward the window where Steve was looking out.  As he approached a notification popped up on the window pane.  Steve took a step back in surprise.  Tony took a quick look at it and then tossed it away with a swipe of his hand.

“How does that work?” Steve asked.  He cautiously placed his hand against the window. Tony was about to answer but Jarvis beat him to it.

“The Towers visual display systems are a combination of Vector based projection and nano-fiber optics; resulting in a comprehensive and interactive 3d display system, Captain.”  At Jarvis’s voice ringing through the room Steve jumped and firmly grabbed his shield.  He looked around trying to find the source of the voice. Tony had to admit that it amused him a little bit.

“That’s Jarvis. He’s my A.I.”

“Huh…” Steve said clearly still confused.

“He is basically a computer that runs everything in the tower.  If you never need anything just say so.  He can hear you.  Right buddy?” Tony said. He smiled at the ceiling. 

“Of course sir.”  Jarvis said. Steve nodded and continued to look out the window.

“So, um, would you like a tour?”

\--

Steve reached in to his duffel bag and pulled out a manila folder. In black print on the front cover were the words STEVE ROGERS: REEDUCATION a large red stamp under it marked it as S.H.E.I.L.D. classified level four.

“Here is your brief on the assignment from director Fury.” He said and held it out to Tony. Tony took it and casually opened it.  Steve was beginning to think Tony did everything casually.  He watched as Tony skimmed over the first few lines.  Suddenly he stopped and looked up.

“Have you read this?” He asked calmly. Steve nodded and purposefully continued to look out the window.  He had read the file on the ride over even though he suspected he wasn’t supposed to.  It didn’t paint a pretty picture.   Inability to comprehend or interact with modern society… PTSD… Anxiety disorder…Depression…  Tony closed the file. 

“Are you alright with me reading this?”  Tony asked.  He held the file back out to Steve. Steve looked at it cautiously.

“It contains your orders and advisements for this case.” He said repeating Fury’s exact words to him.  Tony sighed.

“Not what I asked, Cap.”  He said.  The edge of the folder pressed in to Steve’s arm.  

“The purpose of my being here is…”

“Steve, let’s be clear.” Tony sounded agitated. “You are not here because Fury is making me teach you how to use a computer. You are here because you are my teammate and you needed a place to stay.” The folder pressed against Steve’s arm with more force. “Besides, this would be a pretty shitty Avenger’s tower if there was only one avenger living in it. And hey, you might even learn to use a computer along the way. “ He said with a smile.  Steve took the folder and tucked it back in to his bag. He wondered how much Tony had read, if he thought less of him for it.  Good soldiers didn’t get shell shock, of whatever fancy word they had for it these days.   They kept walking to fight another day.  He had always told himself he was a good soldier.  Some people still seemed to believe it but he wasn’t so sure.

“Thank you.” He said.  He went back to looking out of the window and the silence stretched between them. 

“You want coffee? I want coffee.” Tony said suddenly and darted off in to the next room. Minutes later he dashed back in and pressed a steaming cup of coffee in to Steve’s hands.  Tony took a sip from his own cup and sighed happily.

“You never miss things till they are gone.” He said sounding entirely content.

The whole essence of missing things is that they are gone… Steve thought but he smiled and nodded anyway.

Tony talked a lot. He talked to the point of babbling and often Steve completely lost the direction of the one-sided conversation. They walked from room to room and floor to floor and Tony happily punctuated every sentence with a sip from his drink and gleefully stole Steve’s when he noticed it had thus far gone untouched. 

“Suck a dick Jarvis!” He yelled to no one in particular as he took Steve’s full cup.

“Your request is noted sir.” The disembodied voice said. Tony stuck his tongue out at the wall and Steve decided that even though he was brilliant he was definitely not sane, even by the superhero standard. 

Tony showed him to his room last.

“Here we are.” He said.  “The door only opens with your permission emergencies aside. And um, I’ll be down in the common area if you need me.”

“Thanks Tony, this is all real swell.” Steve said.  He was about to push the door open and go inside when Tony spoke up again.

“Hey, um, Cap? Last time we met I was kind of a jerk and well you didn’t deserve that.” Tony said in one giant huff of a breath.  His eyes were focused on the ground at Steve’s feet like a five year old being reprimanded for stealing from a candy shop.

“I don’t think either of us was acting our best that day.” Steve said.   “Don’t worry about it.”   Tony smiled and held out his hand.

“Friends, Rogers?”

“Friends, and its fine if you call me Steve.”


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was pleasantly drunk.  It was the kind of drunk where he probably shouldn’t drive but most people wouldn’t notice a difference in a conversation. It was the kind of drunk where doing higher math was not pleasant. 

              “Jarvis, go ahead and project the data in the room.  Color-code the frequencies and set the communicator as origin.”  The room lit up with Technicolor waves that were polluted by little bubbles of error that appeared at random like popping popcorn. 

                “Take away all the numbers Jarvis.  I don’t want to see the numbers.” Tony said waving his hands at some of the data points that had begun to define themselves.  Tony sat on his chair and watched the array flicker as he took another sip of his drink.

                “If you don’t mind my saying so Sir, this doesn’t seem very scientific.” Jarvis said.  Tony could almost feel the A.I. looking disapprovingly at the scotch.  He was trying to do better.  He’d finally patched the whole in his chest and had promised Pepper that he was done with everything that had come with it.  She’d almost walked out on him when he’d built Mark XLIII but he had talked her down; promised it was the only one, for emergencies only.  He meant it.  The problem was the alcohol had been there before Afghanistan and the need for it had stayed with him like a limb.

                “Science doesn’t seem to apply Jarvis.  We are taking a more… liberal approach.”  And by a more liberal approach Tony meant drunkenly staring at the wave of colors the display was producing while he let his mind wander where it wanted.  The theory was that some other intoxicated conversation from his year as a theoretical physics grad student would float to the surface and suddenly give meaning to the senseless data. His mind instead took the liberty of playing over the file Steve had handed him. 

Tony knew that they needed him but it was painfully clear that Steve shouldn’t have been in the field in New York that he shouldn’t be cleared for duty now, but he was.  Tony knew he didn’t have room to talk, but he didn’t have people he answered to, people who made him do the things he did; except for Pepper, but she sat squarely in the anti-avenging corner these days.

                “Sir, Captain Rogers has requested entrance.” Jarvis said. Tony gave a thumbs up towards the door.

                “Jarvis, put all the numbers and shit back up.” Tony said.  Many years of experience had taught him that the only bad time for showmanship was funerals, the best time being first, or in this case second impressions.  Steve walked in with his hands tucked in his high waisted pants, or trousers rather, Tony thought. Any pants that looked like that had to be given their own distinguishment that made clear the lack of modernism they possessed.    

                “Cap!” Tony said by way of greeting.  He was now the level of drunk where he should most definitely not drive a car and his friends could tell because he was noticeably more agreeable than he ever was when sober or caffeinated.  Steve picked his way around the lab’s eternal mess and eventually found his way to Tony at the center.

                “What’s all this?”  Steve asked.  His eyes followed the graph and the over abundant number of points that were now defining themselves. 

                “I’m trying to isolate the Chitauri frequency. So we have some way to drop ‘em without a nuke.” Tony said. 

Steve looked back at the rainbow mess being projected in the center of the room. “And how’s that going?”

Tony turned a dial simply for the purpose of making the graph suddenly flare and jump, and Steve with it.

                “Jarvis, apply vectors.” Tony said. He gestured towards the graph and was pleased to see it shift and jump again.  Jarvis understood the game he was playing perfectly and could execute even the most nonsensical command better than fuckit.js. 

                “What do vectors have to do with frequency?” Steve asked raising an eyebrow.

Busted.  Tony just wiggled his eyebrows and took another sip of Scotch.  There was no sense saving face.  He had a lost this round.

                “Not even entirely sure I’m dealing with a frequency here Cap.  That’s my fundamental problem.” He said.  The graph went back to normal.  “What can I do ya for?”

                “Well… um I was wondering if you wanted to go to church with me tomorrow.” Steve asked.

                “Church?” Tony asked slightly surprised.

                “It’s Sunday.” Steve said as if that explained things. “…or not if you don’t want to.” He was starting to look slightly embarrassed.  It was about then that Tony’s brain finally worked through the alcohol to pull up buried memories of his mother dragging him to sit in rock hard pews in itchy clothes where he would fidget for a hour before he got taken back home.  Somehow it still got filed under good memories. 

                “Right, Church, God, weekly worship.” Tony said. Then his alcohol fuelled agreeability found himself continuing to talk before he could stop himself. “Sure thing Cap.  Any particular place in mind?”  Steve smiled a lopsided smile that could only be described as American good ol’ boy.  Tony’s brain completely skipped the exit where he regretted what he had said, and got thoroughly lost in an intersection of nostalgia for worshiping the high school quarterback and trying not to smile himself.

                “I’m kind of um… new to this part of town.” Steve said with a wince and a Brooklyn accent that was on the tolerable side of noticeable.

                “Hey Jarv, gimme a local church, low on bible thumping, high on stain glass windows.”  Several options floated themselves in front of Tony and Steve.

                “Bible thumping?” Steve asked.

                “Home of fire and brimstone, institutionalized guilt and pray away the gay. Unfortunately common.” Tony said scrunching up his face.

                “Pray away the gay?” Steve asked again clearly no less confused.

                “Oh, right, slang, not your forte.” Tony said. “How often does that happen anyway? Like do you ever completely follow a conversation?”  Steve didn’t answer. 

                “Right.” Tony said. A little notebook a few tool boxes over caught his eye. Tony never wrote things by hand, Pepper must have brought it in at some point.  He snatched it up and opened it. A few notes were neatly written on the first page in such short hand he couldn’t understand it, definitely Pepper’s.  Otherwise it was blank.  He ripped out the page gracelessly and chucked the book at Steve. “If you don’t get something write it down, that way you aren’t interrupting conversation. Once you pile up a few we can go over them if ya want.”

                “Thanks.”  Steve said.  The smile was back and Tony remembered reading somewhere that even if you new someone was conditioning you with positive reinforcement you couldn’t stop it from working.  “See you in the morning Tony.”

                “Yeah, bright and early.”  Tony called as Steve walked out of the lab.

                “Jarvis, that was one of those times where you are supposed to stop drunk me from doing something.” Tony said after the conversation sunk in.

                “You seemed perfectly willing at the time sir.” Tony stuck his tongue out and reached for his drink. “And Sir, may I suggest that you not show up intoxicated for your first religious experience in at least 30 years.”

Tony groaned but put the drink down.

\--

Tony as a rule either wore nothing more than a band shirt and jeans or nothing less than a designer suit.  There was no in between.  This meant that for an outing such as this one Tony had the choice of either being over dressed or looking like an asshole.  Pepper must finally be rubbing off on him because he was picturing the tabloid headlines from each one. He went with the designer suit, although the deciding factor had been the face he imagined Steve making if he showed up otherwise.

Happy dropped them off at the church and it was everything the pictures online had promised; towering stone walls, massive stained glass, and people who seemed to be happy minding their own business and saying a quiet prayer before the service started.  They slid in to a pew half way back.  As soon as they sat Steve bowed his head and clasped his hands together.  His eyes were lightly shut and his thumb rubbed back and forth on his palms.  Occasionally he would pinch the skin on the back of his hand for a moment.

The sermon was longer than Tony would have liked and the wine was wretched but Steve seemed pleased by the whole ordeal.  Tony figured it was the familiarity of the routine.  Steve knew when to stand up and sit down with the rest of them.  Tony on the other hand was always two seconds behind the group, the first second because he had no idea what was going on, the second because he was too busy watching Steve to try and figure it out. When they held hands for the prayer Steve’s hand seemed to envelop his completely.  Steve’s skin was cool against his.  He began to worry about how sweaty his palms must feel.

Happy was waiting for them when the service let out.  Tony could see a few smart phones emerging to document their presence.  Steve must have noticed as well because he moved quickly to the car without question.

                “Thanks for coming.” Steve said. “It’s nice to have something familiar, y’know”

                Tony looked at Steve’s hands. The spot where he had been pinching the skin was still red.

                “What were you thinking about?” he asked gesturing to the irritated area.

                “Saying sorry.”

                “What for?”

                “The things I did because I had to.”

                Tony huffed out a breath. “That’s always going to be a tall order Cap. Most would say you’ve done more than your fair share of time.”

                “It doesn’t seem like I have.” Steve said with a sad smile.  He’d started picking at his hand again.   They finished the ride to the tower in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly the other Avengers showed up to live in the tower.  Bruce came first. Steve walked in one morning to him and Tony neglecting their toaster waffles on their plates and animatedly gesturing at the same graph Tony had been looking at the other day.

“Still working on those vectors?”

“You betcha.” Tony tipped back in his chair till it was balanced on two legs. “I figured Bruce was probably more qualified to solve this one.”

“I don’t know.” Bruce pointed to one of the bubble like anomalies that flickered in and out of existence. “It’s not radiation.”  Steve opened the fridge and pulled out the egg carton and a package of sausage. Bruce was still staring at the chart. Tony was using his distracted state to slowly inch his coffee away from him.  Steve put the coffee pot on and broke all eighteen eggs in to a frying pan one by one.

“Jarvis, more eggs.” Steve said. Tony’s head popped up and he smiled an eye crinkling, proud smile. 

“You used Jarvis.” He looked over to the oven. “Is that eggs and Sausage?”

“It might be.” Steve was already getting out three pates.  Just as he put the eggs on the table the distress beacon began sounding. It was the first time it had gone off since the battle of New York

“Disturbance in Chinatown. High population density, Citizens at risk. Avengers Presence requested.  Hawkeye is en route.” Steve stood up and pushed his plate of eggs toward Bruce.

“Sit this one out.” He told him already running towards the situation room where his suit was kept. “Jarvis tap security cameras and let authorities know we are on our way.” He looked back at Tony who seemed to be frozen half way between sitting and standing.

“You coming?”

Tony seemed to hesitate for a moment but then pushed his chair back and gave Bruce his coffee cup back.

“Yeah. Jarvis, activate Mark-XLIII.” Tony ran for the lab.

Live footage followed Steve as he rushed through the halls of the tower. A group of three super powered individuals were attempting to rob a bank.  Clint appeared to have them pinned down with suppressing fire. 

_‘Roof in three for transport Cap_ came through the com just as he shoved it in his ear.

_‘Affirmative’_ He threw his shield over his shoulder wondering exactly Tony had in mind for transport.  When he ran on to the roof Tony was already waiting.

“You got metal on that thing?” The robotic voice asked. “Otherwise I’m going to have to carry you bridal style.” And awkward bit of shuffling later Steve was flying through the air one of Iron man’s hands attached to each of his shoulders.

“I have a motorcycle you know.” he said somewhat grumpily.

“Too much traffic.” Tony sounded amused.  Even though Steve knew he was right he still held it against him a little bit.

_‘How far out are you guys? I’m losing ground here.’_  

Steve could see the fight unfolding a block away. Ironman dove down and released him from about thirty feet up.  He flipped to the ground next to Clint who instantly started giving a situation report.

“Three gifted: Strength, advanced combatant combined with moderate speed increase, temporary paralysis.” Clint said firing another arrow at the three.  He had positioned himself between the bank entrance and the attackers taking cover behind a potted plant outside the lobby doors.   “No obvious intent to harm civilians.”

‘Stark, take the scrawny one in the back. Hawkeye get the strong man. I’ve got the speedster.’  They listened to him without question jumping in to action, trusting his call.  He took down the attacker with a single hit to the gut, careful not to break and bones. He put the guy in handcuffs and looked over to see that Clint had equal success.  Tony was a different story. Somehow the boy, no more than seventeen years old, had managed to get Tony’s helmet off and was now holding a knife to his throat.  It was clear as long as the boy was touching him Tony couldn’t move a muscle.

‘ _Hawkeye do you have a shot’_

_‘Negative. Stark’s big head is cutting off my line of sight.’_

Steve looked around for anything that would help him disarm the boy.

“If you move I’ll kill him.” said a shaky but serious voice from over Tony’s shoulder. 

_‘Jarvis, I need you to tell me exactly where the rockets are stored on the Ironman suit.’_ Steve shifted the grip on his shield slowly so that he was holding it like a discus.

_‘Right shoulder sir. He appears to have the ability to freeze technology as well as people._ ’ Steve hurled the shield at Tony’s shoulder missing his neck by inches. It had the intended effect though one of the rockets flared up from inside its slot it the suit knocking Tony forward and the boy backwards at the same time.  Clint rushed forward and aimed his bow at the kid.

“You move an’ I’ll nail your dick to the ground with an arrow” he said lowering his aim to the boy’s crotch.  Steve remembered what Natasha said about the car incident and grimaced.

Tony was still face down on the ground when Steve got to him.  The shoulder of the suit was completely crumpled. A few odd wires stuck out around the edges but the damage didn’t appear to reach to Tony.  Steve flipped him over so that he was face up. 

“Why is it that every time I come to after a fight you are standing over me?” Tony asked.

“I don’t know. Why is it that you are always getting knocked out in fights?”  He helped Tony to his feet.

“You make an unfortunate point.”

The press was moving in. A news chopper flew over head.  Tony tried to wave but the arm of his suit gave an unfortunate whir and Tony grimaced.  “Debrief at the tower?”

When they got back Bruce was lounged on the couch. His nose buried in one of the thickest physics books Steve had ever seen. 

“You guys made every single news channel.  That was a nice shot Steve.  Risky, but nice.”

“Yeah, Thanks for that one.” Tony walked in to the room. He had finally managed to negotiate his was out of the mangled armor with the help of several robotic arms.

Clint had plopped down on the couch with a first aid kit tucked under one arm and pulled out a needle and thread and began to stitch up a deep gash on his hand.

“You know there was med Staff on the scene.” Bruce looked at Clint’s sloppy stitches with disapproval.

“I didn’t want to stick around for the cameras.” Clint said with his mouth full of thread as he tied off another stitch. “That’s Starks job.”

\--

Tony had chucked a tablet at Steve and told him it was time to catch up on pop culture.  He had then rambled something about dinner with Pepper and left Steve to watch movies.  He had filled several pages of his notebook an in the process decided he understood less about the future than he thought.  He felt like he was in a wind tunnel trying to pick up people whispering to him.  There was just so much and every answer came with new questions.  He wandered through the kitchen looking back through the little notebook. Thus far his list included the words: face book, selfie, mp3, Survivor, X-box, hipster, sharknado, Dodgers not in New York?!?!?!?!?!, and Kardashians.  He also had jotted down a few recommendations Clint had thrown at him upon seeing the list while gulping down the eggs and sausage that had been abandoned on the table hours previously. 

He spent the evening watching firefly on Clint’s recommendation.  He heard a crash followed by the clanking of glass against glass coming from the living room.

“Hello?”  He peaked around the corner but the room appeared empty. Just as he was about to turn and leave he heard another clink and a shuffle. “Jarvis, lights please.” He stepped further in to the room and barely caught a pair of feet retracting out of view on the floor behind the bar. Quietly he walked up to the bar.  He could hear the sound of liquid sloshing from below the granite counter top. He turned the corner and found Tony slumped against the counter staring a dead eyed stare through his reflection in the window. His tie was pulled off and thrown across the floor absorbing the last drips of an empty bottle turned on its side.  Tony took a sip of the bottle he was currently working on not even seeming to notice Steve. Steve slowly sat down next to him.

“Supposed to be cutting back.” Tony slurred before taking a long swig. He looked everywhere but Steve. “Been fucking up a lot of supposed tos lately.”

“Tony what are you…”

“Pepper left.” Tony hung his head and ran his hand through his hair.  The bottle dangled loosely from his other hand.  “We’re done.” His voice cracked on the last word.

“I’m so sorry” Steve said.  He felt like he was supposed to offer something more in the situation. He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Is my fault you know.” Tony said. He finally looked at Steve. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy. “I promised I’d stop all this hero shit.  It was fine when it was just me I put in bad places. At the beginning you know, but she kept getting dragged in and… and that wasn’t fine. I meant to stop.” Tony took a ragged breath.  “But I can’t.  I had to choose. And I meant to choose her.” He looked down at his feet. Steve could see tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. “But I can’t not do this Steve.  I don’t know how to stop.”

Steve took the bottle out of Tony’s hand without resistance.  Tony slumped against his shoulder. Steve watched him through the reflection in the window as the city lights twinkled in the background.

“What do I do?” Tony sounded miserable, hopeless.

“You go to bed and wake up in the morning with a clear head. You keep on going; cause like you said you can’t stop.” Steve said.  And you do that every night for the rest of your life he thought.

“Can’t go to bed.  She’s up there getting her stuff.” Tony said totally deflated.

“Couch then.” He pulled Tony to his feet.  “You need sleep.” Tony didn’t resist but he didn’t help either. He fell forward until Steve caught him.  Steve wrapped his arm around Tony’s waist and slowly shuffled him over the couch. He sat Tony down slowly. He then unlaced Tony’s shoes and set them at the end of the couch. He had done the same countless time for Bucky both before and during the war.

“You don’t have to.” Tony said. 

“Sleep. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Steve said.  He headed to the kitchen. “Jarvis let me know when he falls asleep.”

“He already is Captain.” Jarvis said. 

Steve was staring at the fridge trying to decide whether he wanted orange or apple juice when he heard the sound of heels down the hall. Pepper stopped when she saw him in the kitchen.

“How is he?” Her voice sounded worn.  Steve could see the red marks left from her scrubbing running eye makeup out from under her eyes.

“Asleep.” He knew Tony wouldn’t want him to say anything more. 

“I didn’t have a choice.” She said “I can’t be…”

“I know and he does too.”  Pepper stepped in to the room and extended her hand.

“Goodbye Steve.”  Pepper turned to leave picking up bags she had left in the hall with her. 

“Good bye Ms. Potts.”

“Steve, please keep him safe.” She left before he had a chance to reply.

After that night Tony disappeared into his lab for two days.  Steve saw him once raiding the fridge but he pretended not to notice him and let him skitter away.

 Natasha had returned from wherever she had been, she wouldn’t say, with a black eye and a split lip, two duffel bags in tow.  She had plopped down unceremoniously on the couch and mumbled something about hot tea and then a beer. To Steve’s surprise Clint, despite not having heard the comment, emerged from the kitchen a minute later with a mug in one hand and three beer bottles balanced in the other. 

“How’d things go?” He tossed a bottle to Steve. Natasha was hunched over her tea cup inhaling the fumes.

“No worse than normal.”  She said.  “I only had to threaten to break Rumlow’s nose this time.”

“What’d he do this time?” Clint rolled his eyes.

“He lost money on me in a fight.” Natasha smiled mischievously at Steve. “A lot of money apparently.” She took a sip of her tea unperturbed.

“Bullshit.” Clint said opening his beer against the table’s edge.

“It’s true.  Just ask Steve. He’s the one who beat me.”  She set down her empty tea cup and picked up her bottle.  Steve was trying to hold back a smile.  Clint looked from Steve and back to Natasha.

“Bullshit.” He said again. 

“I’ll meet you in the gym bright and early tomorrow if you want me to prove it.” Steve said.

“Deal.”  Clint smiled. Steve saw Tony walking down the hall toward the elevator. He was wearing a suit.

“I’ll be right back.”

 Tony must have heard him walking down the hall after him because he sped up.  Once Steve turned the corner from Clint and Natasha he broke into a jog.

“Tony, hey wait up.”

Tony turned.  He looked put together but his eyes were blood shot. “Hey, Cap.  Don’t mind me. Just going out for a bit.” He said with a well practice toothy grin. He pushed the elevator call button and the doors slid open.  Steve put a hand on Tony’s arm to stop him from walking in to the elevator. 

“How are you doing?”  He asked. Tony pulled out of his grip and stepped in o the elevator.

“Thanks for the other night Cap.”  Tony pulled out of his grip and stepped in o the elevator.  The doors gave a ping and slid shut. 

Steve sighed and walked back to the living room. Clint and Natasha were engaged in a conversation in rapid fire sign language. 

“So what’s up with Stark?” Clint was still signing at Natasha.

“Yeah, spill.” She agreed. Clint made what looked like a particularly obscene sign and Natasha chucked a throw pillow at him. 

“Umm?” Steve said watching the exchange with confusion.  They stopped and both turned their attention to him.  He contemplated telling them for a moment but decided against it. 

“He’s just having a rough time.”

Natasha watched him closely for a moment and then seemed to come to her own conclusions.  From what he knew of her Steve was inclined to think that they were correct.

\--

Steve beat Clint three rounds to none the next morning but Clint made Steve promise that he’d have a go at the archery range.

“You better watch out. He might beat you at that too.” Natasha joked.

“No way. No one beats me at marksmanship.” Clint bragged.

“Oh really?” Natasha quirked and eyebrow.

“That was one time!” Clint wailed. He turned to face Steve. “It’s not fair she uses her boobs for the forces of evil!”

“There is no good or evil, only weak minded men.” there was pure deviousness in Natasha’s voice. “Clint’s the loser so he gets to make breakfast.”

“I’ll burn the bacon!” he threatened.

“Good that’s just how I like it.”

Clint, despite threats, did not burn the bacon.  Steve was clearing the dishes when a voice he didn’t recognize spoke up from the door. 

“Um. Where is the elevator? I wasn’t really paying attention last night?” 

Steve looked up.  A woman who he had never seen before was standing in the door way.  The shirt he had seen Tony wearing last night hung too big off her shoulders providing modesty to a dress that was otherwise without.  A pair of heels hung from her hands. She was classically beautiful although in the morning light she looked over blushed.

“Right down the hall.” Natasha said when it became apparent Steve and Clint were too bust staring to answer. “Do you have a ride?”

“Yeah” the woman said. “The talking ceiling called me a cab.” Then she wandered down the hall without saying any more.

“Well that was fast” Steve mumbled. 

“Stark doesn’t deal with things.  He runs from them.” Natasha said.  As if to prove her point Tony managed to avoid all contact with anyone till Steve again spotted him sneaking out the next evening.

Steve read the paper every morning and every morning it horrified him in a new way.  The politicians didn’t respect the people who they represented and in turn the people didn’t respect their politicians.  That story was the same every day and after a week or so Steve had grown used to it.  Today’s unique horror was that police were allowed to carry and use assault rifles against citizens. His thoughts were interrupted when a woman, this one fully clothed, walked in to the room.

“Have you seen Tony?” She asked.  “When I got out of the shower he was just gone.” 

“No I haven’t Ma’am” Steve said.  The woman’s eyes narrowed and then suddenly widened.

“You’re Steve Rogers aren’t you? You’re Captain America.”  She looked very excited all of a sudden.  This seemed odd to Steve as she had an hour previously had Ironman as a bedfellow.

“That’s me.” He said.  He finished off his coffee and stood to pour himself another.  “Would you like some coffee” He asked.  About three seconds later it occurred to him that offering you housemate’s one night stand coffee was not what the social script demanded. Fortunately he was able to find a disposable cup to put it in so she wasn’t obligated to stay around to drink it.

“You’re adorable!” she said as he handed her the drink.  Steve blushed. “And I’ve gotta run I have a meeting.  Thanks Steve!” She said before heading to the door and Steve was left wondering when they had gotten on a first name basis.

 By the third morning Steve was expecting some beautiful woman with last night’s makeup smudged on her face to come waltzing into the kitchen.  Instead a man in boxers and a bathrobe quietly padded in and began shuffling through the refrigerator.  The man poured two cups of coffee and then walked back out of the room.  Steve tried to go back to reading the paper but he was too distracted contemplating that Tony Stark appeared to like men as well as women. 

An hour later Steve headed to the lab holding the largest mug in the tower, full to the brim with disgustingly dark coffee.  Jarvis let him in before he had to ask.  Angry rock music blared from the sound system Tony was hunched over a work bench poking at a circuit board.  Tony saw him and waved for the music to turn off.  Steve notice that Tony had both coffee cups sitting on the work bench, both empty.

“Here” Steve said. “It didn’t look like your, um, friend made enough this morning.”  Tony took the coffee cup and sighed.

“Look, we have a good thing going here where we do friend like things for each other on a weekly basis. Let’s not ruin that with you judging my lifestyle decisions.” Tony said.  He was eyeing Steve suspiciously. 

Steve wasn’t surprised by the reaction.  The gay rights movement had been the first and only thing anyone bothered to explain to him.  The first time he had been slightly surprised; by the third he had been more annoyed than anything else. 

“That’s not why I’m here.”  Steve sat down on an empty stool and pulled out the little notebook Tony had given him. “I’m here because you needed more coffee and I need to figure out what the hell a hipster is.” 

Tony snorted and snatched the book out of his hands. He flipped through the pages Steve had filled, an embarrassing number.  An over dramatic sip of coffee later he said “Fasten your seatbelts; we’ve got some work to do.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tony wandered down to the training rooms playing with a new communicator design. Clint had been complaining that it had been interfacing with his hearing aid poorly. Three prototypes and several shocks to Clint’s ear later, he wanted to clear the final design with Steve before he put it in to production. 

He heard the sound of a punching bag being abused before he rounded the corner.  Steve was facing the wall throwing punch after punch at the swinging bag.  Tony took a moment to appreciate the view, because it most certainly was a view. Every one of Steve’s back muscles was taught with effort his shirt clung to his shoulders as he moved. 

“Hey, so for the comms I was thinking of adding a vitals sensor in case…” Tony stopped talking.  He was accustomed to being listened to and Steve was not listening, he continued to pound away at the bag.  Upon moving closer he saw that the canvas, Kevlar reinforced, was streaked with blood. 

“Steve.” Tony was right next to him but he didn’t respond.  “Steve!” The man’s rhythm faltered momentarily but he shook his head and ducked in to another hard hitting punch.  Sweat beaded on Steve’s forehead, blood dripped on to the floor.  His knuckles were split, bloody and swollen.  His shirt was ruined from the spatter.  Tony grabbed Steve’s arm and was almost thrown forward when he tried to throw the next punch.  Tony yelped as his are almost exited the socket and Steve finally took notice. He stood frozen in place looking at his torn up hands not with horror as Tony would expect but resignation.

“Sorry.” His Jaw worked up and down.  He looked everywhere but Tony. 

Tony led him over to the mat and sat him down.  He plucked an expansive first aid kit off the wall. He began wiping blood away with alcohol wipes that didn’t seem big enough.  After a moment he switched to a water bottle and a towel that someone had left on the mat. The smaller abrasions were scabbing over but the center right knuckle was split to the bone. Tony knew that Steve would heal within a few days so he didn’t bother to stitch it he just gently placed gauze over it and wound a bandage around Steve’s hand which was swollen to the point he struggled to take it out of a fist.

“I went to see Peggy toady.” He said.  His voice was quiet, almost puny. “They say I shouldn’t go back too often.  She gets confused.  Half the time she thinks she is seeing a ghost.” Steve didn’t seem to be talking to him, just vocalizing his scattered thoughts.  Tony said nothing and after a moment Steve continued.  “The docs at Shield said I should be on medicine for it, except for my metabolism’s too fast messes it up.” 

“You need to find a better outlet.” Tony said.  He was vaguely aware that he was still holding Steve’s hand, holding pressure he told himself. “What if we get called in five minutes and you get it a bad situation because you can’t throw a punch.”

“I’d throw it anyway.” Steve flexed the bandages and blood seeped to the surface.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”  Tony straightened the knuckles gently and taped another layer of gauze over to worst of the damage.  “Let’s get out of here. I need your advice on the new comm design.”

\--

Thor arrived with a crack of lightening and a five minute spell of torrential rain that sent New Yorkers running for cover.  Steve watched as Natasha walked out to greet him.  He enveloped her in a bear hug that lifted her over six inches off the ground.  He walked in to the common area and clapped Steve on the back hard enough it actually hurt.

Clint declared that they should celebrate with takeout and beer.  Steve managed to convince Tony to come out of the lab and they all sat around the coffee table waiting for the delivery to show up.  Chinese food was eaten and the evening devolved in to Tony and Natasha competing to see how many shrimp they could throw in to Clint’s mouth in a row.  Natasha was slightly drunk, Tony had abstained claiming the title of “designated Avenger” of the evening, so she was only beating him by a factor of two.  They had called on Bruce to judge.

Steve wandered out to the balcony and watched as the sun set over the city. He could hear laughter and Tony’s loud protests of cheating in the background. Steve swirled his beer, still the first one of the night it had long ago grown warm. Thor walked out to join him. 

“I have yet to acquire a taste for this Midguardian drink.” He said.  “The beer in Asguard has more heart.”  Thor leaned against the railing with Steve.  “You seem reserved tonight Captain.  What troubles you?”

“It’s just a lot to take in. Everything is so different from what I’m used to.”  Steve took a swig of the beer and resisted the urge to spit it out over the edge. “How do you do it?”  Steve asked.  He wondered if the difference was that Thor could go home with a single word.

“When I first arrived here I struggled Thor said.  It had been centuries since I last visited Earth and very little of what I found made sense to me.  Do not try to reconcile the life you had with the one you are leading now.  You will fail.  Find a new path here.”

“I’m not sure I know how to.” He thought of Peggy and how in a moment of clarity, or as close as she got to it, she told him to go live the life he had never gotten to.  He’d told her that life went down with the plane.  Everyone he was supposed to live it with was gone. “Except you Peggy.” 

She’d laughed. “I’m not far from it.”  She’s said, then her eyes had lost focus and when she looked at him again she called for the nurse and told her she was seeing ghosts.  

“Hey Steve! Come beat Natasha at arm wrestling for me! Tony called. Steve rolled his eyes. Thor grinned.

“I am sure you will find your way Captain.” He said. They wandered back to the group.

“The contest you suggest is hardly fair Stark.” Thor said. “Lady Natasha, would you do me the honor of allowing me to fight as your champion.” Thor’s contemplative mood seemed to have evaporated as he again became the life of the party. 

“Go right ahead.” Natasha said. “Stark is just bitter because I already put him to shame once tonight.”

Thor was victorious, not that anyone expected differently.  He claimed the last of the dumplings as his prize and he and Natasha gloated with every bite.  Steve spent the rest of the evening smiling when the situation required it, and trying to imagine himself content with a life with no plan and no war to win.


	5. Chapter 5

The plane was going down and he knew it.  As he was comforting Peggy, as the water got closer he  imagined that he’d hit the water and that’d be the end of it.  He told himself it would be okay, it would be over. He almost dared imagine he would be in a better place.

The plane hit the ocean.  The impact threw him from the chair, but it wasn’t over.  The cockpit made a horrid screeching noise but the glass held.  Steve could taste blood in his mouth.  He heard water leaking in from somewhere.  The sky was still visible through the unbroken glass.

He tried to get back up to the radio but his leg gave out with enough pain to make him vomit. Peggy was calling his name over the radio sounding more and more desperate.  He knew that even if they told he told them he was alive they wouldn’t get there in time.

The sound of rushing water increased in volume.  Steve could see it coming up through the grate in the floor.  He pulled himself slowly up the slanted floor toward the front of the plane.  Each motion sent a burning pain through his leg and up his spine. He didn’t start screaming until the water hit him. Everything it touched felt raw.  He could feel his bones freezing in his body.  The water made it up to his waist before the cockpit gave a final groan and sunk beneath the dark choppy waves.  Even above the water the temperature was dropping fast.  Steve could no longer feel his fingers where they clung to the dashboard.  The water stopped rising and the room got darker and darker as the ship sunk leaving Steve half submersed in a pitch black air pocket every nerve in his body shrieking. 

He thought he had understood what it was to be cold when he had been ninety pounds and the New York winter had ripped through him with sleet blowing winds that soaked his ratty jacket and left him shivering with the flu till it finally stopped snowing halfway through April, when they couldn’t afford wood for the fire and Bucky had snuck home coal stolen from the docks in his pockets so they could boil a pot of water that Steve could sit over and breathe the steam that came off it to try and calm his rattling lungs. 

This was worse.  He couldn’t move but he could feel the water icing over in the darkness. Each crystal that formed seemed to stab.  He knew it must have gone on for hours measuring time by the beat of his pulse the only thing audible aside from the occasional groan of the hull and the sound of his lungs once again rattling in the frigid cold.  Eventually he lost track of time as the buzzing in his ears drowned out everything else.

\--

Tony was reading the tabloid headline A Stark Contrast: Aliens Cause Heroes to Find Religion when Jarvis spoke up despite having been put on mute for the night.

“Captain Rogers is showing elevated heart rate as well as other signs of distress.”

“You sure he’s not just masturbating Jarvis?” Tony flipped the page to find a photo of him and Steve kneeling next to each other shoulders touching in the pew.

“I am certain Sir.  He appears to be having a night terror and he is not waking up.” Jarvis said.  Tony had never programmed the A.I. to convey tone but it managed to anyway.  Tony was already in the elevator by the time Jarvis had finished speaking.

“Steve?” He called from the door of the dark apartment.  “Jarvis, lights at twenty percent.”   He made his way through the apartment as loudly as possible in the hope that Steve would not startle and punch him through a wall.  All of the bed sheets had been thrown aside. Steve was drenched in sweat and shaking so hard it was visible from across the room.  His ribcage moved up and down rapidly while his shoulders seemed to curl further in on themselves.

“What’s his body temperature?” Tony asked.

“Ninety three point four, heart rate one thirty five”  

Steve’s jaw clinched and his teeth ground.  Tony stood over him and watched for just a second before he put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. His muscled tensed at Tony’s touch.  Steve woke up gasping for air as if he was drowning. His eyes darted around confused. His breathing was still heavy.  He finally seemed to find Tony amongst the shadows.  Their eyes met for a split second and then to Tony’s shock Steve burst into tears.  He gripped Tony’s shirt and his shoulder rocked against Tony’s torso.  The only noises he made were gasps for breath in between silent sobs.  Tony didn’t know when it had happened but he didn’t feel like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t.  He felt life a confidant not an intruder.   After brief hesitation he placed his hand on Steve’s head and slipped his fingers through his hair.  Tony made his breaths large enough to move his abdomen and breathed as slowly as possible.  Steve’s breathing slowly set pace with his. 

Steve began to calm down.  He separated himself from Tony and sat against the headboard of the bed arms wrapped around his knees head tipped back so that he was looking at the ceiling.

“Why couldn’t I have just died?” he mumbled.

“Steve…”

“If I had known I wouldn’t have done it.  I’d have tried to turn the plane around; I’d have made sure I didn’t make it.”

“I can’t imagine this is and worse than the war.” Tony said. “I know it’s a steep learning curve, but you are doing well.  You’ll get the hang of it.”

“The war was hell.” Steve said. “But it was where I was supposed to be.  It was my fight.”  Steve shivered. “I didn’t lose consciousness when the plane hit the water.” His jaw worked up and down as he looked anywhere but Tony’s face.  “I don’t know how long it was.  A few hours maybe.  Haven’t felt warm since.”

“Shit, Steve.” Tony said.  He noticed Steve was still shivering. “Jarvis will ya turn the heat up?” The room got warmer and Tony began to doze off.

“Tony.”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

Tony squeezed Steve’s wrist. “Nothing to apologize about Cap.”


	6. Chapter 6

Steve declared an official team training session necessary, which was fine, theoretically.  What was not fine was that he scheduled it for six in the morning.  Tony had been willing to forgive him for that even, until Steve had mentioned that it was going to be all hand to hand combat. No suits, no weapons allowed. 

Tony slunk in to the training room ten minutes late.  He was deeply offended by how bright eyed and pleased to be there the rest of them looked.  Except for Bruce, he was standing off to the side looking apprehensive.   Tony stood beside him and tried to angle himself so that he was hiding from the rest of the group.

“You’re late.” Steve walked up and took the coffee cup out of Tony’s hands. “No caffeine before a workout.”  Tony almost cried as Steve dumped the drink in the trash.  He was quickly reconsidering his opinion on Steve Rogers.  

“But…but” Tony tried to protest but articulacy came with caffeine.  Without it he was approximately a three year old.   Steve didn’t notice or skillfully ignored his protests.

“Natasha, take Bruce through the basics. Clint, try not to kill Stark.”  Steve stretched and twisted from side to side.  Tony spent a moment contemplating the impossibility of Steve’s waste line.

“Are you sure this is necessary?”  Bruce wrung his hands and looked apprehensively at the mat.

“Just the basics” Steve reassured him. “But you need to be able to defend yourself without having an incident.”  

Natasha half led half pushed Bruce over to one corner of the mats.  She began showing him how to punch.  “Not like that, align your wrist.  If you go in with it bent you’ll break it; if you break it you’ll hulk out.”

“Bruce I get, but why do I have to do this?” Tony took a step towards the door.

“Builds character” Steve said.

Tony scoffed. “As if I’m character deficient.”

“Stop being a whiny bitch and get over here.” Clint shouted.  “I promise I won’t break any bones.”

“Do you see this?” Tony asked.  “I feel threatened.”  Again he was expertly ignored. 

Tony stepped up to Clint and raised his hands suddenly grateful for the few self defense lessons Happy had given him. 

“Boxing? Really?” Clint voice was half sarcastically half udder despair.

“What’s wrong with boxing?” Tony asked indignant. 

Tony thought he heard Clint mumble”fucking casual” under his breath. He then dropped to a crouch swept Tony’s legs out from under him with his foot.  “The problem with boxing as that there are rules.” He popped back up to stand over Tony on the mat.   “It leaves you with an inflated sense of power and no preparation.”

Steve and Thor had taken over the second half of the room and were engaged in epic combat.  Thor nearly drove Steve through the floor with a windmill of an overhead blow.  The impact took Steve to his knees his every muscle straining to hold off Thor’s fist.  The fight looked to be over.  Steve was quicker than Thor though and he managed to roll out from under the crushing force and send Thor stumbling toward the wall.

Clint whacked Tony upside the head. “Pay attention Stark.”

Tony swung at Clint again and managed to jump out of the way of the first leg sweep.  Clint vaulted off his hands and wrapped both his legs around Tony’s shoulders taking him to the ground.

“Ack.” Tony screamed. “That’s a lot sexier when Natasha does it.” 

“Don’t let me do it then.”

Steve landed a kick in the center of Thor’s chest that sent him flying back on to his butt.  They both sat there breathing heavy for a minute. Steve bent over and put his hands on his knees resting waiting for Thor to get back up.  His shirt was soaked in sweat.  It rode up in the back revealing a thin line of skin.

“A point to you Captain.” Thor said.  They began circling each other again. 

Tony’s world suddenly tipped sideways as his knees were forcefully buckled from behind.

“Quit ogling Assmerica the Beautiful over there and pay attention.  You were actually improving in the two minutes you were trying.”

Steve looked up at that comment and Thor lifted him at the waist and threw him to the ground.

“Ha! A point to me!” He extended a hand and pulled Steve back up. 

“Stark, I swear to god.” Clint looked down at him in disapproval.

“Why do I have to do this anyway I have a suit.” Tony whined.  He was still lying on the mat watching the fight.

“Because when your suit failed the other day you were about as useful as a lemming.”

Steve and Thor traded blows for a minute but it was clear Thor’s strength was wearing on Steve. Every one of the blows he blocked sent him staggering back.  Only his agility kept him from being defeated.  Thor seemed to realize it and began to strategically back Steve in to a corner.  Steve tried to skirt around Thor but he was anticipating it.  His arm shot out at lightning speed and clothes lined Steve flipping him on to the mat.

“A good fight captain.” Thor said helping him up again.

“Yeah.” Steve said rolled his shoulders out. “Give me a few days to recover from that one and we can do it again.”

Thor’s laughter seemed to echo off the walls. “Indeed.”

“How’re things going over here?” Steve asked

“Just Peachy.”

“Stark is a lost cause.  We should just wrap him in bubble wrap and be done with it.” Clint said. 

Steve frowned.  It was a stern frown; the kind disappointed fathers gave their genius sons when they brought home a B in chemistry because they couldn’t be bothered to the homework.

“Show me.” He said.

Tony and Clint lined up again. Clint swung at him and Tony managed to block it. Clint grabbed the arm he had extended to do so and flipped to the ground.

“See?” Clint said.”

“It might help if you told me what I was doing wrong instead of just decking me every two moves.”

“It’s called learning from experience.”  

“Well it’s not working.”

Steve sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.  “Clint, go get a workout in with Nat.”

“But she’ll beat me.” Clint whined.

“And by the looks of it your ego could probably use it.” Natasha said.  “Banner and I are finished.  Let’s go bird boy.”

Tony was slowly edging toward the door but Steve called him back.

“You are going to get something out of today.” He said gesturing for Tony to put his hands up.

“I already got a few bruises, thanks.” Tony said.  “I saw you going toe to toe with a literal god over there. I don’t think I need and of that.”

“Stark, put you God damn hands up.”

Tony did as he was told.  Steve mirrored his stance.

“Bend your knees more.” Steve said.  Then he swung at Tony’s shoulder. “Freeze.” He said as soon as Tony moved to block. “Look at your body. You’re flinching away you want to meet it not run from it.” He set back up and motioned for Tony to do the same.  “Again.”

“Is this gonna be some wax on wax off shit here. Cus I don’t have time for that.” Tony said.

“What does that mean?” Steve asked.

“Shit, sorry. Jarvis add Karate Kid to the movie list, the original one.” 

An hour later Tony was sweating more than he had since Afghanistan and seemed to have made very little progress. 

“Good work Tony.” Steve said.  The sweat from his match with Thor had long since dried.  His hair stuck out at odd angles, a far cry from the clean cut look he usually maintained. 

“I need coffee and a shower.” Tony wiped away sweat that was beading in his goatee. “Definitely in that order.”

\--

They ordered takeout, approximately twice the usual amount, and all sat on the couch too sore and exhausted to make good conversation.  Tony turned on the news and they sat in silence with it yammering in the back ground.  Steve didn’t seem nearly as tired as the rest of them he leaned forward intently and watched as the hosts argue about the topic of the day.  He set down his food completely engrossed in the program.  

_‘And today the president announced an increased presence in Iraq in wake of the terrorist threat.  Does this count as boots on the ground?’_

Clint snorted.  “God fuck America.” He waved a chopstick at the TV.  “Army idiots sticking their nose places where it doesn’t belong. Better off without them”

Steve’s jaw clenched.  He stood up and walked out of the room without saying a word. Natasha smacked Clint across the back of the head.  He looked confused for half a second then realized what he had done. 

“Shit.”

 Tony let Natasha chastise Clint as he chased after Steve.

“Hey, wait up.” Tony said and then lamely added, “You didn’t finish your Lo-Mein.”

“I know he’s entitled to his opinion but that doesn’t mean I have to sit there and listen to it.” Steve was still visibly struggling to calm down. “And I’m not hungry.” He paced back and forth in the hall.  “I’m going to go hit the gym.” He tried to walk toward the elevator but Tony got in his way.

“Firstly, there is no way you aren’t hungry. I’m starving and you got three times the workout I did with three times the metabolism. Secondly, we don’t need a repeat of last week.” Tony tapped the back of Steve’s hand One of the knuckled was still sporting a light pink scar.  “Let’s go get burgers.  I know this great place, lots of grease, huge milkshakes, the works.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t act so burdened.  I’m buying.”

\--

Tony ordered what he thought to be too much food and watched in amazement as Steve put away two quarter pounders, two orders of fries, a basket of onion rings, and an extra large milkshake.

“Not hungry my ass.” He dipped his fries in his shake.  Steve was too bust eating to talk so Tony rambled about anything and everything.  Steve suffered through the techno babble admirably although Tony saw his eyes glaze over once or twice.

“I’m sorry, I went off today.” Steve poked a stray pickle around with a fry. “I know I’m pretty rotten at the whole adjusting thing.”

“Given the amount of adjusting we are talking about you are doing admirably.”  Tony snatched the pickle.  “But that’s sad talk. Tell me what’s your favorite thing about the future?”

“Technically it’s the present.” Steve said.

“That doesn’t sound nearly as cool.  And don’t dodge the question.” Tony could see that Steve was stumped. 

“I’ve never really considered it.”

“First thing that comes to mind.”

“Technology is great and all I guess.” Steve swirled his fry in his ketchup. “and modern medicine is incredible.”

“That’s wonderful.”  Tony said. “But those are canned lines some shield agent probably coached you on. What do you like?”

“The city at night with all of the headlights, especially from up in the tower.  It is kinda amazing the scale of it all.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “How poetic.”

“What’s your favorite thing about the future?” Steve made little air quotes around the word future.

“That its happening right now and we have a chance to change it.” Tony said.  The waiter came by with the check and Tony handed him a hundred dollar bill and told him to keep the change. 

 They walked out of the restaurant in to the mid-afternoon sun.  Steve’s hair glistened in the light that reflected off the buildings.  It was mildly ridiculous, offensive even.  They wandered their way toward a nearby park.  Tony’s phone gave a buzz in his pocket.  He flipped it open. 

“Barton’s having the guilt session of a life time right about now.”  Tony said.  “You should ride that for a while.  Really make him squirm.” 

“That wouldn’t be very nice.” Steve said. 

“No but it’d be funny.  Nothing like a good prank.”They bumped shoulders as they walked.  The first time it was an accident but Tony then jokingly nudged Steve with his elbow.  Steve nudged Tony back and Tony pretended to stumble.  Steve looked concerned for a second before he realized that Tony was joking. 

“A good prank should bring the team closer together, not keep them split.” Steve then told him about the time he and Bucky has spent the entire night swapping the entire company’s boots around so everyone woke up with either two right or two left shoes.  “We didn’t want it to be obvious right away so we spent the whole night matching shoe sizes.” He struggled to finish the story for laughing so much. “They never did figure out that it was us.”

Tony in turn told the story of what he, as well as the Collegiate Times, titled “The great burrito heist.”  He had to stop and explain the concept of burritos to Steve.  He promised an outing to chipotle when they weren’t stuffed full of burgers. 

Happy pulled up to the curb just as it started to get dark.  Tony’s stomach hurt so much from laughing that he was sure he’d have a six pack in the morning.  Steve seemed content to watch the city pass by from the car window. He couldn’t recall a more enjoyable afternoon.  He was already looking forward to doing it again. His brain was going weird places, places that involved holding hands and ice cream Sundays, places that Tony Stark didn’t do.  Tony watched him peer up at the sky scrapers to the tune of ‘shit...shit...shit” running through his head as he slowly talked himself into a terrifying corner. He wanted to say corny horrible things like ‘pretty amazing isn’t it?’ but there were rules he lived by, the first of which was ABC (always be cool).  The second was no attachments, but he’d been breaking that one a lot as of late. 

Steve smiled at him as they got out of the car and that was enough to make up Tony’s mind.  They stepped in to the elevator.

“Hey Cap?”

“Yeah?”

Tony tired to take a deep breath subtly.  Five floors to go.  Now or never.  “So, um tell me if I’m reading this wrong but…” 

Two floors. Tony wanted to run. He was silently cursing the enclosed nature of elevators.

 “I was thinking…. That…well maybe..”  Suddenly he found himself unable to speak because Steve was kissing him.

 It was a poorly planned questionably executed affair of a kiss.  Their noses bumped and their teeth clattered until Tony processed the fact that it was Steve’s hand barely touching his cheek and Steve’s lips pressed firmly against his. He pulled back to just hovering over Steve’s lips.  The elevator dinged.  They both opened their eyes. 

Steve backed away. “I… I…” He face was flushed.  He took another step backwards and then turned and fled. 

“Well fuck.”


	7. Chapter 7

Steve ran.  He panicked and sprinted through the halls of the tower. The door to his apartment nearly ripped off its hinges and slammed shut with a loud crack.  He sunk into the couch and began to hyperventilate.  He was frightened of his own actions, certain he had ruined everything.    He wanted to do it again and that scared him more.  His throat constricted as nausea set in.  He made it to the sink just in time to heave up half of what he had eaten.  When his stomach finally calmed he sunk on to the cool hardwood floor and leaned his head back against the wall. He felt like a wreck.  A small voice in his head reminded him that Tony had no problem sleeping with men but that thought scared him more than anything else.

“Jarvis don’t let anyone in.”  He heard the lock on the door slide into place. 

The afternoon had been wonderful.  Tony had made him laugh more than he had since before the war.  For an hour or two he hadn’t felt out of place.  

“Way to go Rogers,” he mumbled in to the air “you fucked up the one good thing you had going here.” 

He let he thoughts tumble around and resolved that he would face his problems in the morning.   He suddenly felt very alone and out of place in the world again.

\--

Tony walked to the lab in a daze.

“Well that went both better and worse than expected.” He sunk in to the couch with a sigh.

“Mostly worse Sir”

“Shut the hell up Jarvis”

The more Tony thought about what had happened in the elevator the more it made sense.  He and Steve had really hit it off in recent weeks in their own weird way.  If they were any two other people they would have gotten together by now; but Steve was from the forties and Tony was an emotionally constipated wreck who had failed to commit to a relationship, or anything really, till the age of thirty eight.  Tony wanted a drink but he knew that with the way the sensations of the too short kiss were burning his lips he would go do something stupid and well and truly fuck something up. 

“Jarvis, I’m going to have to be the mature one in this situation aren’t I?”  Tony asked.  The alcohol sang to him from across the room.

“Likely Sir”

“Alright Jarvis.  Where is he?” Tony stood up and turned away from the liquor cabinet

“The Captain is in his room but has requested to be left alone.”  Jarvis said. Tony thunked his head against a work bench. This was going to have to wait till morning.

“Tell me when he tries to sneak down to the gym at some ungodly hour Jarvis.”  Tony turned on the music and tried with minimal success to bury himself in work.

At five fifteen a.m. the lights in Tony’s room came on.

“Fuuuckk.  Why Jarvis?” Tony moaned and rolled over.   He had only gone to sleep two hours previously.

“Captain Rogers is in the gym Sir.  The coffee pot is on and brewing in the kitchen.” 

Tony took a few minutes lying in bed pretending he didn’t have to go do unpleasant things before he got up.  Five minutes later with a coffee in hand he walked in to the gym. 

Steve was again at the punching bag stringing together hit after hit.  Tony took a moment to sip at his steaming drink and admire the view.  Steve was wearing a tank top that left every twitch of his shoulder muscles visible. 

“I’m not going to have to patch you up again, am I?” he asked. 

“Oh. Um, Hi.” Steve froze and turned around. His face was flushed and Tony knew it wasn’t from the exercise. He stepped away from the bag and wrung his hands. “Look Tony, I’m sorry… I really… I know...” Steve was stumbling over and mincing his words. He had a whole lot he didn’t know how to say.

“Steve.  Hold on a second. You look like you are about to throw up.”  Tony took a step toward Steve.  He wanted to reach out and give his arm a reassuring squeeze but the casual atmosphere they had yesterday was gone.

 Steve watched Tony carefully and despite his size he looked small and frightened. 

“Just hear me out? Okay?” Tony said.  “Firstly I want to you to know I’m not upset with you.” Tony saw Steve visibly relax.  He continued. “And it’s pretty clear you have some self discovery that you have to do.” Steve started to object but Tony put his hand up. “If you decide you just want to put all of this behind you we are all good.  But if you are interested in exploring it further, consider this an invitation.”

“Um…I”

“Just think about it.” Tony said.  “No time limit on the offer.”  He turned to leave.

\--

Clint brought Steve a peace offering in the form of a boxed set of Harry Potter books and several awkward long winded apologies. “It’s the book series of the decade Cap. You gotta read it.” He said before again starting to mumble about how he was an idiot and how much respect he had for him.  

Steve had just started to make lunch wandering around the kitchen reading the first book when Natasha walked in.  Steve started making her a sandwich too. He set a plate down in front of her and kept reading.

“Time to talk.” She said.

“What about?” Steve asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

“About you and Stark.” She said.  “And don’t talk with your mouth full. It makes even you look unattractive.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Steve put his book down.  He knew he wasn’t likely to get out of it that’s easily but he had to try.

“You’re blushing Rogers.” Natasha raised an eyebrow and let him squirm under her gaze.

“What does it matter?”

“You two disappear for hours and now every time you are in a room with each other you are sneaking glances at the other and looking away as soon as the other moves.” 

“None of your business” Steve kept eating his sandwich with fierce determination.

“It’s affecting team dynamics and I would prefer to survive our next fight. That makes it my business.  Did something happen between the two of you.”  The way she said 'happen' made it very clear what she was implying. 

“It was nothing.”

“Rogers I swear to god…”

Steve gave up on attempting to deflect his way out of the conversation. “I think I messed up…” He whispered.  There was no one else in the room but he felt that if he talked too loud everyone would know. He told Natasha what had happened last night and Quickly repeated Tony’s offer from earlier so quickly it might not have counted as English as much as a shriek with slight inflection.“What do I do?” he asked miserably.  

“Clearly you are interested.” Natasha said. “Go for it.”

“I don’t know how.”  Steve knew he sounded pathetic but the prospect of talking to Tony again scared him shitless. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Just be honest” Natasha said. “And just so we are clear, despite what Barton says, Lord of the Rings is the defining series in fantasy.  Not Harry Potter.”

“I’ll put it on the list” Steve said. He was going to need a new notebook soon.


End file.
